Friday, September 26, 2014

Guest Post: TOOLS OF THE GHOST TRADE by J.L. Bryan

Are you tired of slogging away at the same old dead-end day job?  Do you want a career with flexible hours, iffy benefits, and lots of contact with angry dead spirits?  Ghost catching might be the job for you!

At Metaphysical Manufacturing, Ltd., we fully support and encourage your efforts to enter into the dream job that we’ve just now suggested!  Part of the reason is that you’ll have to buy lots of products from us in order to be a professional ghost trapper, but we also care about you as a person and stuff.

So what will you need?

Ghost Training: We recommend you order our complete twelve-book, nineteen-video training course, which includes such useful manuals as Boogeyman Basics and How Not to Get Your Soul Ripped From Your Flesh.  After filling out our correspondence-course exam and sending us a large check, you’ll get your official ghost-grabber certification!

Ghost Sensors: Several devices can help you determine whether a ghost is in the room with you...maybe even right behind you!  The most basic is an electromagnetic frequency (EMF) meter.  Ghosts have electromagnetic fields, probably, and these can be detected with modern scientific instruments, maybe.  Definitely buy one!  We recommend you also pick up our special motion detectors and ghost thermometers—which measure how warm or cold the room is!

Ghost Goggles: Sooner or later, you’ll want to see the ghosts you’re hunting.  We recommend sooner!  We offer both night vision and thermal imaging goggles to help you find elusive spirits.  You can buy one or the other, but it’s best if you buy both!

Ghost Microphone: Use a high-powered, ultra-sensitive microphone (like the ones we sell!) to help you pick up whispers and guttural threats from the Other Side.  Spend hours recording, and countless more hours listening and trying to find voices in the static!  You’ll never have so much fun again!

Ghost Trap: This is the final “must-have” piece of gear.  Your customers will pay you to remove unwanted spirits from their homes, so you’ll want some way to do that.  We sell a range of affordable traps, from simple lead-glass jars to phone-booth-sized Faraday cages that create a solid electromagnetic barrier no wicked wraith can escape!  We recommend you buy them all.

With these simple purchases, totaling less than eighty thousand dollars, you can become a professional ghost trapper, too!  Visit our website to learn (or buy) more!

Book & Author Details:
Ellie Jordan, Ghost Trapper by J.L. Bryan
Publication date: September 19th 2014
Genres: Adult, Horror, Paranormal

Ellie Jordan’s job is to catch and remove unwanted ghosts. Part detective, part paranormal exterminator, Ellie operates out of Savannah, Georgia, one of the oldest and most haunted cities in North America.

When a family contacts her to deal with a disturbance presence in the old mansion they’ve recently purchased, Ellie first believes it to be a typical, by-the-book specter, a residual haunting by a restless spirit. Instead, she finds herself confronted an evil older and more powerful than she’d ever expected, rooted in the house’s long and sordid history of luxury, sin, and murder. The dangerous entity seems particularly interested in her clients’ ten-year-old daughter.

Soon her own life is in danger, and Ellie must find a way to exorcise the darkness of the house before it can kill her, her clients, or their frightened young child.


J.L. Bryan studied English literature at the University of Georgia and at Oxford, with a focus on the English Renaissance and the Romantic period. He also studied screenwriting at UCLA. He enjoys remixing elements of paranormal, supernatural, fantasy, horror and science fiction into new kinds of stories. He lives in Atlanta with his wife, his son, and some dogs and cats.

To hear about future books by J.L. Bryan, sign up for his new release newsletter:

Twitter: @jlbryanbooks