The Reality of Friendship

I'm sure all of you have received those "friendship" emails that are all warm and fuzzy, but I got this one the other day.  This is my idea of friendship-the stone cold truth.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in. 

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get until you're NOT.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will try to use only little words.

7. When you are sick --Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will laugh at your clumsy ass, but I'll help you up. [For this one I have provided my family and friends with endless amount of laughter.]