Rose A. Valenta is a nationally syndicated humor columnist. Her irreverent columns have been published in Senior Wire, Associated Content, Courier Post Online, NPR, Newsday, USA TODAY, the WSJ Online, and many other local news and radio websites.
She is the author of Rosie’s Renegade Humor Blog. This is the blog for people who would be knowledgeable about current events and politics if only politicians and news anchors didn’t stretch the truth. “What else is there to do, but share an honest laugh?” Rose said.
Rose regularly attends the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop at the University of Dayton, is a member of the Robert Benchley Society and the National Society of Newspaper Columnists (NSNC).
Rose lived in Philadelphia for over 40 years, where she honed her humor writing skills by being married to a Philadelphia Policeman and giving birth to three children. “Times have changed. Now that we have 10 grandchildren, I’m not sure how I feel about children being exposed to the evening news. Humorous things happen, like the time my grandson asked us to come outside to see his version of ‘Frosty the Inappropriate Snowman’ right after Snowmageddon.”Rose worked for a subsidiary of McGraw-Hill, Datapro Information Services, for 12 years as a technical staff writer, and also wrote freelance articles for other computer industry publications.
She claims that her Italian heritage stunted her growth. She is English on her Father’s side and believes that in a past life, during medieval times, she was probably a trusted member of the Counsel of the Jesters.
Her latest book is Sitting on Cold Porcelain which you can find out more about at her website at www.rosevalenta.com.
Does Congress Fully Understand Mythical Beans?
Wasteful government spending that makes no sense is often referred to as “pork barrel” spending or just “pork” spending. It has been referred to that way since before the Civil War.
Yes, even honest Abe had some pork in his budget.
Pork spending often includes ridiculous things like “$2 million to construct an ancient Hawaiian canoe,” or “$1 million to preserve a sewer in Trenton, NJ, as an historic monument.”
Many of these ridiculous and absurd things have been suitably noted and itemized in “THE GOVERNMENT RACKET: Washington Waste from A to Z", by Martin L. Gross.
I have to ask myself, in these modern times, why don’t they call it what it is – predator or “snake spending” that consumes the American tax payer?
Then, when they are done with that, they bring in the scavengers like “dung beetle spending.” That’s when all the tax payer’s budgets have been bitten to death by “snake spending” and the only thing left in our Capital One wallets is dung.
Now is the time to stop snake spending!
People like Glenn Beck have been pointing fingers at the Progressives. However, if they were really “progressive” they would be part of progress and the solution, not the problem.
Actually, I think the USA should seriously consider a consolidation project. Forget about building an ancient Hawaiian canoe. Sell Hawaii to Oregon for a profit. California can be sold to Las Vegas so it won’t go belly up and become a sewer destined to go down the tubes as an historic Black Hills monument.
After all the consolidation is complete, States like Rhode Island with only four electoral votes can be easily merged into States like Massachusetts, which has 13; Vermont can go to New York; New Hampshire to Maine; and so forth, until we evolve into an economic Godzilla.
Then, we go overseas and stomp on China for pirating, bootlegging, and violating US copyright and trademark laws. We should then be able to sue and raise about $100 trillion just on what we find in Shanghai, alone. That should wipe out our national debt, yes?
I wouldn’t like to see the 2011 Federal Budget end up as a Gōng Yáng knock-off.
Congress should take the sage advice of Will Rogers, who said "The budget is like a mythical bean bag. Congress votes mythical beans into it, then reaches in and tries to pull real ones out."